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Love
On The Internet
by
Colleen Moulding
Margaret,
38, a divorcee from Hereford
was shown how to use the
Internet by her teenage
daughter. She met Alan, 44, a
chemist from New York in a
gardening chat room.
"He
asked me a question about
Albertine roses," laughed
Margaret. "We chatted
quite often after that, mainly
about our gardens at first.
Then Alan sent some photos of
his garden with him in it, and
I straight away thought how
handsome he was.
I
sent photos back, half
thinking that I wouldn't hear
from him again, but the
e-mails kept on coming and one
day after we'd been
corresponding for about nine
months Alan got the chance to
come to England on business.
We met up in London last
November and we got on really
well together. I'm going to
see him in New York in two
months time, so who knows what
will come of it?"
Lizzie
Bell was only sixteen when she
started chatting to Mark on
the Internet and found that
they didn't live far apart
from each other in North
London. They even knew some of
the same people!
After
chatting every day for about a
month Mark suggested that they
meet in a cafe one Saturday
morning.
"We
decided to both carry a copy
of a certain computer
magazine," said Mark,
"but I knew she was the
one the minute she walked in
the door."
"I had already told him
what I looked like
anyway," said Lizzie,
"and I made sure I liked
the look of him before I got
my magazine out of my
bag."
Over
a year later Lizzie and Mark
are still together and
planning an engagement on
Lizzie's eighteenth birthday.
Things
don't always work out quite so
well though as Rebecca 42,
from Leeds found out.
Rebecca
joined an Internet dating
service. When she first met
William he seemed like her
ideal man, smart, handsome and
sophisticated. At first they
had a good time together with
trips to the theatre and the
races, even a weekend in
Paris, until Rebecca began to
suspect his motives.
William
was increasingly "just a
little short of cash"
until a business deal went
through. Eventually Rebecca
realized that the deal he was
waiting for was marrying her
for her not inconsiderable
money.
"I later found out this
was not the first time he'd
tried it either" said a
disillusioned Rebecca.
There
certainly are precautions you
must take to keep yourself
safe if you intend to meet
people in this way.
CHAT
ROOM CHECKLIST
For a start please don't
believe everything you're
told. He or she may be a
company director with a big
house and a company car, on
the other hand they may be on
benefit and up to their eyes
in debt. If someone sounds too
good to be true - they
probably are!
Don't
reveal too much about
yourself. Use an alias or a
nickname, this is quite common
practice, and don't reveal too
much about your physical
whereabouts either, especially
if you live alone or in an
isolated place. There are con
artists who target the lonely
and will think their ship has
come in if you give out this
sort of information.
Be
aware that if you put your
photograph on the Internet
anyone can right click on
their mouse and put that
picture anywhere that they
like in any context. Also
consider when looking at
photos of others that many
people put on photographs that
are years out of date when
they were slimmer, younger,
had hair etc.
Don't
even think about giving out
your telephone number under
any circumstances. Call the
other person from a public
telephone, or dial 141 before
you call them and they can't
get your number by dialling
1471. (UK)
Use
your common sense. It's easy
in the heat of the moment to
give away details about
yourself that you would never
usually reveal to a stranger.
Take
your time and don't be rushed
into meeting, especially if
you have any doubts at all
about someone. On the other
hand if you get to know
someone and they are strangely
coy about meeting up perhaps
they are already married, or
ten years older or younger
than they have told you.
Beware of men or women who
"love" you within
days, they almost definitely
have an ulterior motive.
When
you do decide to meet, take
the same precautions over your
personal safety that you would
with any stranger. Meet in a
public place, tell someone
where you are going and with
whom, keep your house and car
keys with you at all times, be
careful about your drink being
spiked and take a taxi home so
that your date doesn't know
your home address.
Love
and friendship have blossomed
on the Internet for many
people who might otherwise
never have met, for whom the
computer cursor became Cupid's
arrow, just be careful and
look after yourself.
©
Colleen Moulding 1999
About
the author: Colleen Moulding
is a freelance writer from
England where she has had many
features on parenting,
childcare, travel, the
Internet and many other
subjects published in national
magazines and newspapers. She
has also published a variety
of women's and children's
fiction. Her work frequently
appears at many sites on the
Internet and at her own site
for women and children All
That Women Want.com a
magazine, web guide and
resource for women everywhere.
Subscribe to the FREE monthly
e-zine by sending a blank
e-mail to allthatwomenwant-subscribe@egroups.com
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