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Clarifying
Who You Are Seeking
by
Rinatta Paries
People usually
get what they want in one of two
ways.
Some people have
vivid clarity about their
desired outcome and it seems
to magically materialize.
Surely you know someone like
this, or perhaps you are
evenone of these people.
Other
people cannot create what they want as easily. They must first get clear
about what they want, and then take action. If you are this type of person
and are single, you are likely using classified ads, online dating services
and other singles-related avenues to meet your ideal mate. If so, the
following set of guidelines will help you create an attractive, powerful
and effective singles ad or listing by helping you clearly define who you
are seeking.
If you prefer not to use singles ads to attract a mate,
you still need to be very clear about who you are seeking in order to
attract your ideal partner. Below, you will find a set of steps to help you
clarify who you are seeking for a relationship.
First, keep the following
three points in mind:
1. Even when you are taking action to find a
partner, you won't actually "find" a partner. You have to attract one, draw
one to you. This does not mean you shouldn't take action; it is
simply something to be aware of.
2. You attract what you believe. In
terms of intimate relationships, often you will attract people who reflect
the untransformed part of you. If you want to save time and aggravation,
work on yourself and your relationship patterns before you begin trying to
find or attract a partner.
3. Be clear on who you are, what you want and
can offer in a relationship. Be complete with your past. Be clear about
your past relationship patterns and why they are/were here.
Below you are
the steps for creating an effective ad, as well as a separate set of steps
for those who simply want to clarify who they are seeking for a
relationship.
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Steps
for writing an ad or a listing to attract your ideal
mate:
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1.
Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as specific as
possible.
2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted
to? Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best guess and
write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the qualities will describe
you. Be as specific as possible.
3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If
not, are you willing to grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and
rewrite your description of your ideal partner and describe a person
who will be attracted to the qualities you have.
4. Pick out the most
meaningful, attractive qualities you wrote down in #2 and use them to write a
description of yourself. This will be the first part of your classified ad or
listing. The length of the description will depend on where you are
placing the ad.
5. Write a detailed description of the type of
relationship you want.
6. Would your ideal partner in #1 want the same
type of relationship? If not, start over. If yes, what would appeal
to him/her the most? What words could you use to describe the essence of
the relationship you envision?
7. In the second section of your ad or
listing, make an offer specifically targeted to your ideal partner.
Incorporate items from #6 into your offer. For example, if you think
clear communication would be appealing to your ideal partner, and it is
something you both want and are able to give, your offer may sound something
like, "In this relationship you can have the best communication of your
life."
8. Finish your ad or listing with a request to contact you, in
a way appropriate for the medium you are
using.
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Steps
for clarifying who you are seeking for a
relationship:
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1.
Write down the qualities of your ideal partner. Be as specific as
possible.
2. What type of person would your ideal partner be attracted
to?
Looking through your ideal partner's eyes, make your best guess and
write it down. Don't automatically assume all of the qualities will describe
you. Be as specific as possible.
3. Does the list in #2 describe you? If
not, are you willing to grow and change so that it does? If not, go back and
rewrite your description of your ideal partner and describe a person
who will be attracted to the qualities you have.
4. Write a detailed
description of the type of relationship you want.
5. Would your ideal
partner in #1 want the same type of relationship? If not, start over. If yes,
then you now have an effective description of who you are seeking for a relationship.
6. Do not engage, date, or be intimate with people who do
not fit your ideal description.
The above steps are an effective way
to actively attract your ideal mate. Follow these steps to get very clear
about what you want in a mate and in a relationship. You will also get clear
on what you need to be willing to give. This is the kind of
vital information that you need in order to attract your ideal partner.
(c) Rinatta Paries, 1998-2001. Do you know what it
takes to be happy and fulfilled in your relationships? Relationship
Coach Rinatta Paries can teach you the skills and techniques to attract
and sustain long-term, healthy partnerships. Visit www.WhatItTakes.com where
you'll find quizzes, classes, advice and a free weekly ezine. Become a "true
love magnet(tm)!
About the author:
Master Certified Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries works with hundreds of singles each month seeking her
expertise in helping them find and attract loving, fulfilling,
long-term relationships.
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