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Sex and the Single Mom
Author: Teri Worten
Single moms, more so than
anyone, have to be exceedingly
careful
about the type of man they
select as life-long partners.
No
sensible woman wants to be
judged soley on her appearence
or sex
appeal, right? Moreoever, who
would even want a man mostly
interested in sex without a
real commitment, right again?
These
questions create an age-old
conundrum. Exactly, how does
one
find a guy who loves them and
only wants what is best for
them?
Let's take it up a notch. How
do you resist those natural
impulses to throw caution to
the wind and break down and
have
sex?
For starters. . .
Read between the lines.
A wise person once said, Words
carry a little weight, but
actions truly reveal the
entireity of a matter. When
you meet a
new guy, be especially
observant of the kinds of
things he talks
about. Carefully listen to his
conversation. Remember, you
can
usually learn plenty about a
person simply by listening to
them.
If the conversation is laced
with sexual innuendos, that is
your
"red flag".
Where’s the fire...
Be leery of physical contact
early in the relationship.
Someone
who is overly
"touchy" after
knowing you for a short amount
of
time might have less than
honorable motives. Yes, some
guys are
“touchy feely” with women.
But think for a moment, if you
marry
a man who can't keep his hands
to himself, you are asking for
trouble!
Let get real, here. As single
moms, it's only natural to
enjoy
the attention of men, but
don’t allow loneliness or
insecurity
to propel you into a
relationship that may bring
pain later. You
are far too precious for that,
single mom.
Take your time with the
physical stuff. Approach the
dating
relationship the same way you
would with a platonic friend.
Save
the kissing or hugging until
you really know the guy.
We often give away far too
much too soon in our
interpersonal
encounters. Don't be the type
woman that every guy in the
neighborhood knows what it’s
like to kiss and squeeze. Even
if
he says he loves you, remember
that love waits. Love is
patient,
love is kind and real love
will never disrespect you.
Slow down,
enjoy the progression of the
new relationship. There's no
fire,
so hold your horses!
God’s plan for you...
God has a plan and it's not
about pointless denial. His
plan is
first marriage and then sex
after the legal, spiritual and
emotional commitment. When you
create a list of rules for
your
kids, you do so to protect
them, right? Well, God is no
different. He loves you and
wants to spare you unnecessary
grief.
There is forgiveness....
If for whatever reason, you
have engaged in a sexual
relationship outside of
marriage understand that God
still loves
you. Our blunders don't make
Him love us any less. He
desperately wants to put the
pieces of your life back
together
and make all things new again.
Living life "our
way", guided by our
emotions or feelings,
always brings disappointment
and shame. However, God
specializes
in such wounds. Allow Him to
cleanse your pain and remove
your
guilt (read 1John 1:9). If you
confess your sin, He WILL
forgive
it. He’s promised. The next
and most crucial step is for
you to
forgive yourself.
Our children....
Our children rely on us to
model appropriate moral
standards.
Most wise moms advise their
teens to abstain from sex
before
marriage. We carefully explain
to them the dangers of sex
"now a
days". We share how
abstinence protects us against
sexually
transmitted diseases and
unwanted pregnancies. Taking
this into
account, why should we want
anything different for
ourselves?
Our children are growing up so
fast. Our time with them is
very
precious. Let's not taint it
recovering from unecessary
love-related heartbreaks.
Nothing is worse for children
than to
see their moms wounded, hurt,
bitter and dejected.
My mother recently told me,
(relative to my health) 'a
good
mother takes supreme care of
herself for the sake of her
children'. I think the same
applies to emotional health.
Don’t
run the risk of giving your
body and soul away only to be
left
with an empty bed and broken
heart. It really isn't worth
it,
single mom.
About the author:
Teri Worten is a freelance
writer and the founder of
several
inspirational websites for
women and single moms. One is
called
Gotta Be Me, Girl.Com. You can
access the site by following
the
link: http://www.gottabemegirl.com.
Secondly, visit the Greater
Kansas City Single Mom Network
at
http://www.kcsinglemomnetwork.com.
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