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Secrets to get to the heart of
your loved one
Author: Caroline Therancy
The other day, I was home with
my sweet love when my sister
called. She was in a bad mood
because she was babysitting my
cat
(I was out of town) and my cat
had made a mess in her sofa. I
was sorry that happened. I
went in the bedroom to think
it over
in silence.
After a while, my sweet love
joined me and the first thing
he
said was :
I can see this
situation seems to bother you,
doesn't it?''
In that moment, I thought he
was the greatest boyfriend
ever. I
felt understood and comforted.
I was in a better disposition
to
be the best partner that I
could be for him. Then I
realized
that he was talking the same
language of love as mine. I am
a
Visual and I understand better
when we communicate with me in
visual ways. He used the words
"see'' and
"seems''. I am
certain that the Auditory and
Feeling people out there don't really
get it but, Visuals out there might better understand how I
must have felt.
Having the same communication
style or using the
communication
style that your partner is
using greatly avoids missed
connections, unnecessary
challenges and increase
intimacy by
reducing the events of
resentment. Passion starts to
fade away
when there is build up
resentments. Communicating the
right way
is one of the tools to keep
lasting romance.
There are 3 types of Love
Language; according to the
author,
Tracy Cabot (How to make a man
fall in love with you), you
have
the Visual, the Auditory and
the Feeling style. We use all
of
those 3 ways to communication
but one is predominant.
How can we identify the
styles?
Visual expresses enthusiasm or
stress similar to those
comments:
;'Don't you SEE how
this is amazing?!'' or You'll
SEE. You'll love it'' or You don't LOOK in
a great shape today''. An Auditory
will say This
SOUNDS good'' when a Feeling will say
This FEELS good. I
have the IMPRESSION that will work'' or
I know how you
FEEL'' or I understand...''
With Visual, it's the look
that counts. They usually are
well
dressed. They take care of
their appearance. They relax
in a
beautiful, well harmonized
environment. Things have to be
in
order around them. They look
for partners who take care of
their
looks too. When visual think,
their eyes look up in the air
because they are visualizing'' what
they will say or the
situation in their mind. They
will tell you how
things
looked''. They don't talk
about their feelings early in
the
relationship because they need
to "see'' where the
relationship is leading first.
They like to watch television,
read, arts, landscaping,
etc... anything that
stimulates their
eyes.
An Auditory are very sensitive
the sounds around them. They
always have music at home or
in their car. They talk a lot
because they like to hear'' themselves
talk. They are
easily distracted by noise.
They adore being talked softly
in
the ear. The quality of the
voice of their partner can be
a true
turn on or a definitive turn
off. An Auditory will look on
the
side when they think because
they have to hear the voice in
their head. Auditory will tell
you how things
sounds''.
Auditory will have the latest
stereo system in town, they
prefer
going to concerts, they like
to talk on the phone and they
have
a special talent for music.
A Feeling person reacts on
intuitions and their guts.
They are
willing to sacrifice elegance
for comfort (no high heels for
women and tight collar shirt
for men). They want to feel
great
at all times and in every
situation. They look for
partners who
are great at sharing feelings.
They are perceived as people
with
a great heart. Women are
easily seduced by Feeling Men
because
they have the ability to
express their sensitive side
and are
great listeners, so common to
women's needs.
Feeling people like to touch,
to kiss and they greatly need
a
constant physical expression
from their partner. Feeling
people
look down when they think
because they need to get the
impression''.
Feeling people will tell you
how
things felt''. They like to
relax lye in the sun, work
out,
massage, drink, and dance, and
eat great foods. They will
most
likely do risky activities
because of the rush of extreme
sensations. They are looking
for trills.
If you are with a partner that
has the same communication
style
as yours, enjoy yourselves. If
you have two different
communication styles, don't
conclude that you are not made
for
one another and it's maybe
time to see a counselor (a
therapist
or... a lawyer!). This article
will give you more tools to
help
communication at the maximum
and get a deeper connection
with
your mate or future mate.
How can we capture the heart
of a Visual, an Auditory or a
Feeling person?
With Visuals, you need to use
visual terms; from my
'perspective'', I
can 'see'' what you
mean, the
more I 'look'' into
this, the more it 'seems''
nice, I 'observed''
how wonderful you are with
kids,
etc...
Visual need to be stimulated
with what they see; always
have a
neat house, with harmonized
colors, be dressed elegantly
in
every situation (wearing jeans
can be elegant with a nice
matching color and style top).
Be sexy. For lovemaking,
always
have a little light, or
candle, because it turns them
on to see
their partner enjoying sex.
Look in the eyes show them
that you
care for them and you are
attentive. Visuals like to
make
scenarios.
They usually don't rush in the
lovemaking because they need
to
admire first. They need to
'see'' it. Also,
they don't
communicate in words their
feelings. They show them
instead. Be
sensitive to their generosity.
Don't share your feelings too
early in the relationship.
Show them instead how you feel
and
how you are. They'll get the
picture.
Auditory will be worried about
the noise in the house.
Quietness
and great music atmosphere
sure gets them to come around
often.
Use a soft voice when speaking
to them even when you are
fighting. You will need to
speak in sound language; your
voice 'turns'' me on,
that has a negative 'ring'',
'tell me, what do
you think? I'm 'listening'',
this sounds 'wonderful'', the
'rhythm'' is
perfect, etc.. Think verbal
reassurance. Looking in the
eye
won't have the same effect.
Auditory often ask if you love
them.
For lovemaking, use a sensual
sweet radio
voice'' in
their ear.
Describe how you feel during
the heat of the passion.
Sounds of
lovemaking will have a
powerful effect on them. They
usually
don't notice the new dress or
new haircut that you just had,
but
they will gladly listen on how
you got that new dress or new
haircut, as long as they are
in an environment that allows
listening. They are really
interested in who you are. Not
on how
you look. They are the best
listeners.
With a Feeling person, use
feelings word; that feels''
good, I'd hate to disappoint you'',
I don't really connect'' with
that person, I can't wait to
touch'' you, I feel'' that we are
going
somewhere, let me give you a
massage'',
etc...They can
be perceived a passionate
people because they express
their
feelings so much. They need to
know how you feel, very early
in
the relationship. They expect
to be touched by their partner
a
lot and they do the same.
They often complain about
insensitivity of their
partners. Play
with their hair while you talk
to them, in the car, while you
are driving, keep one hand on
the leg, take walks and hold
hands, wear satin underwear,
make hot bath, etc...Feeling
people
can make lovemaking in any
situation because they need
the touch
only. They are not necessarily
the neat one or the most
elegant
either, but they will truly
appreciate the complete you.
Pay attention of the dominant
type of you and your
partner's.
Practice the appropriate
communication style until it
becomes
natural. Reducing challenges
in a relationship increases
the
chances of lasting romance.
Now, you have a way to capture
the
heart of anyone that you want,
if you are single, and you can
re-ignite the fire if you are
in an unsatisfying
relationship
and get what you and your
partner wants, because the
connection
will be deeper. I am a strong
believer of ''say anything
that
you want'' to your partner.
But, there are ways of saying
things. You just learned on
how to make yourself heard and
understood properly and
receive your partner's needs
and caring
expressions right.
Believe me. You'll see the
difference ;-)
About the author:
Who is Caroline? She is a
growing expert on love,
relationship,
romance because she is reading
a lot on the subject. She is
presently in a fulfilling
relationship and she is gladly
sharing
her knowledge and experience.
To continue receiving tips on
how
to get the love life that you
want, you can subscribe free
to
her newsletter at http://www.everydaybetterliving.com
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