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The Perfect Reason For More
Sex
Author: Michael Myerscough
Satisfaction with your
relationship leads to you
making more
opportunities for sex. More
frequent sex leads to happier
couples and happier couples
have sex more than unhappy
couples.
Isn’t that fantastic!
One reason why some people
have poor sex lives is the
fact they
have too high standards. One
of my clients had a demand
that sex
be ‘perfect’ every time
and perfectionism is a
dangerous
disease. As a ‘perfectionist
in recovery’, I like to keep
this
quote in mind:
“Perfectionism is the voice
of the oppressor, the enemy of
the
people. It will keep you
cramped and insane your whole
life, and
it is the main obstacle
between you and a shitty first
draft. I
think perfectionism is based
on the obsessive belief that
if you
run carefully enough, hitting
each stepping-stone just
right,
you won’t have to die. The
truth is that you will die
anyway and
that a lot of people who
aren’t’ even looking at
their feet are
going to do a whole lot better
than you, and have a lot more
fun
while they’re doing it.”
It comes from a book called
“Bird by
Bird” by Anne Lamott.
This client wouldn’t have
sex if he were feeling tired,
unhappy,
withdrawn, or slightly less
than besotted with his
partner. This
is unfortunate given that
sexual arousal produces large
doses of
fantastic feeling hormones.
Oxytocin in particular leaves
us
feeling much cuddlier and this
is always good for the
relationship. The experts
generally agree that couples
that
bless themselves with a range
of sexual expression have
fewer
conflicts and better
relationships.
I’ve observed that the gap
between people’s
expectations and
their reality can cause a
surprising amount of trouble.
It’s
been said that disappointment
requires adequate planning.
The
fabulous Adrienne Burgess
makes an interesting point in
her book
“Will you still love me
tomorrow?” She tells us
there is
statistical evidence that if
either party in a relationship
has
experienced better sex in
another long-term
relationship, it
creates problems.
So if we’re looking to have
great sex, it’s important to
start
out by having regular sex. As
my yoga guru says, “Do your
practice and all is coming”.
Sex Not What It Used To Be?
OK, so maybe that is hard to
admit to! When you’ve been
in a
relationship for a while, you
may begin to notice that sex
starts to change. You struggle
to find the time, the energy
and
somehow the peaks of
excitement just don’t always
seem to stack
up like they used to. Does
some of this sound familiar?
Don’t worry, you’re not
alone! The good news is that
this is
exactly the kind of work that
I love to do. I love it so
much
that I made a professionally
produced and edited CD of my
Great
Sex seminar which lays out the
quickest route to the results
you
want. That seminar is
generally full of women and it
occurred to
me that I’m going to need a
different format for men. They
might
not have time for a seminar
but they’ve got all the time
in the
world to listen to a CD
promising Great Sex.
So now you can find out how to
rekindle those early
relationship
feelings of passion. Listen to
the introduction: free online
at
www.thegreatsexcoach.com/products.htm.
Give it a listen, it’s
guaranteed to make you smile.
About the author:
© Copyright 2003 by Michael
Myerscough ‘The Great Sex
Coach’.
All Rights Reserved. May
be freely copied and
distributed as
long as you include the
following information:
"By Michael
Myerscough, professional
speaker and relationship
success coach.
Michael has lots of great
tips, tools and articles on
his
website that you can use.
Visit him at www.thegreatsexcoach.com
and sign up for his free
newsletter.
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