Mind-Reading
Game
by Rinatta Paries |
For many people, dating
and relationships are
not about relating but
about mind reading. Do
you know what I mean?
When you are starting to
date someone, isn't your
mind busy analyzing your
date's every action?
Does he like me? What
does she mean by that?
Will he call again? Did
I say the right thing
and will she take it
wrong? Will he reject me
or judge me?
In a long-term
relationship, it can be
even worse. Will she nag
me when I get home? Will
he listen to what I have
to say? What does he
really feel? What does
she want?
The funny thing is that
most of us don't admit
to believing in psychics
and mind readers, and
yet we try to practice
it in our relationships.
Mind reading seldom if
ever works. It is simply
not possible to
accurately interpret
another person's
actions, thoughts and
feelings without input
from them. Mind reading
damages our
relationships and drives
us crazy.
Are you ready to stop
driving yourself crazy
by trying to figure out
other's thoughts,
feelings and emotions?
Then it's time to
welcome a new life with
fewer headaches, more
sleep and better
relationships through
communication.
All you have to do is
assume "it's not
personal" and
communicate.
Assume it's not personal
In mind reading, you
would assume that
another's actions are a
direct reflection of
what the person thinks
and feels about you. The
truth is that even when
you are in a long-term
relationship, very
little of your partner's
actions have to do with
you. This is even more
profoundly so in dating
situations.
What the other person is
doing or saying, or not
doing or saying, has
very little to do with
you and a lot to do with
his or her life
experience, way of being
and current
circumstances.
Communicate.
In mind reading, you
would respond to another
according to your
interpretation of his or
her actions. He or she
would in turn respond to
you according to his or
her interpretation of
your actions, and on and
on and on.
Without mind reading and
hence interpretation,
the logical step is to
communicate. Ask
questions. Share your
feelings. Ask for what
you want. Set
boundaries. Expand your
communication
repertoire. As long as
you are gentle and
respectful, you can say
almost anything to
anyone without causing
an adverse reaction.
This will not work with
everyone immediately,
but will work with most
people eventually. After
all, communication
creates intimacy and
growth, which is why we
all want relationships
in the first place.
When you play the
mind-reading game you
set yourself up for
craziness and often for
disappointment,
resentment, fear and
anxiety. Once you stop
playing the game,
realize what's going on
with the other person is
not personal and start
communicating, you'll
notice a dramatic change
in your peace of mind
and the quality of your
relationships.
|
| About
the Author |
| Having
coined the phrase
"relationship
coach," Master
Certified Coach Rinatta
Paries works with
singles to help them
attract their ideal
relationship, and helps
couples create more love
and fulfillment in their
existing relationships.
Visit her web site at
www.WhatItTakes.com or
e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.
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services | online
dating
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