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Marriage-Minded
by Nancy Fagan, M.S.
What are the qualities you
look for in a potential
husband or wife?
Have
you ever dated someone you
were crazy about, yet wished
you could change one little
thing about him or her? Have
you reveled in the fact that
you and your sweetie had
almost everything in common,
yet you still broke up? Just
what is it that we really need
to look for in order to
promote a successful future
with someone?
Perhaps
the best way to determine
whether he or she is
wedding-worthy is to ask
yourself a few questions.
There are five basic elements
that you need to really look
at before any relationship can
progress towards something
truly successful. These
elements are as follows:
emotional, sexual,
intellectual, financial, and
spiritual.
Emotional:
Take the emotional aspect of a
person's makeup. This area
includes a person's
psychological characteristics,
emotional styles and
expressions. Perspective on
the world, level of
self-esteem, confidence,
intimacy, ability to share,
commit. Weaknesses, strengths,
respect of self and others,
vanity, attitude. The list
goes on...
Sexual:
Sexuality means different
things to different people.
For some, it means the
physical act itself, perhaps
something wild, while for
others, romance and expression
play an important part. A few
traits to keep in mind when
looking for a partner might be
level of interest, romance,
attraction, love, variations,
response, monogamy,
communication, risk taking,
playfullness, awareness of
STDs, and physical appearance.
Intellectual:
How a person thinks about the
world he or she inhabits, and
how they interact day to day.
Some people are casual and
some thrive on being type A
personalities. A person's
intellectual style influences
would include expression of
ideas, level of education,
sense of humor, goals, skills,
hobbies, mistakes,
converasation and learning
styles, interest and quickness
of thought.
Financial:
Money affects everyone. How
one treats it tells much about
him or her, and can make the
difference between a
comfortable life and a life of
living Hell, so it's important
to be compatible in this area.
Pay attention to spending
style, lifestyle, goals,
retirement, savings and ideas
about money and debt in
general.
Spiritual:
Spiritually doesn't
necessarily mean a person's
religious orientation, rather
a basic belief system about
life in general. A sense of
self, a reason for living. It
includes beliefs about ethics,
the importance of religion,
purpose of life, optimism,
acceptance of others,
integrity, honesty,
responsibility and social
values.
Using
the Core Elements to Make a
Match
Whenever
you are interested in someone,
it's important to know her
views on each of the five
components. The more areas of
comparability, the stronger
the foundation of the
relationship will be. People
can have differences, but it
adds strain to a relationship.
Observe and communicate, and
hopefully, you will be able to
catch differences early on, to
avoid pain later.
Nancy
Fagan, M.S., author of “The
Complete Idiot’s Guide to
Romance” and
“Desirable Men: How to Find
Them.” To read more, visit: http://www.expertdatingadvice.com/
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