Leave
Your Needs at the Door
by Rinatta Paries |
A good relationship
enriches and enhances
your life. Whether you
can attract and create
an enriching
relationship partly
depends on what you
think a relationship
will do for you.
There are two approaches
to creating
relationships. Some
people want a
relationship in order
get their needs met.
These individuals tend
to have a long list of
needs they are not
meeting anywhere else,
and want met when they
connect with a partner.
Unfortunately,
approaching a
relationship to get your
needs met tends to
attract partners who
require you to give up
or alter some part of
you.
In such a relationship,
you may be told you are
loved only when you are
on your "best"
behavior. You may be
required to take care of
your partner either
financially or
emotionally in exchange
for the continuation of
the relationship. You
may be asked to put up
with unacceptable
behavior in order to
continue to get your
needs met.
People who have the good
fortune of creating good
relationships enter into
relationships with their
needs already met, for
the sole purpose of
enrichment.
In such a relationship,
you are free to be
yourself. Because you
are being yourself, you
grow and expand in ways
that are good for you.
Even in compromise, you
learn skills that bring
about growth. While
being fully yourself,
you are more likely to
communicate fully and do
not have to monitor or
control your behavior.
Your best attributes are
brought out and
highlighted. If your
partner exhibits
unacceptable behavior,
you are in a position to
ask him or her to
instead be the best he
or she can be.
It's your choice. You
can wait until you get
your needs met through
your partner and
sacrifice important
aspects of yourself. Or,
you can take stock of
your needs now and get
them met. You will then
be ready to attract a
partner who will enrich
your life, so that both
of you can expand and
grow in love.
Which one will you pick?
Want to know which needs
are good to bring to the
relationship and which
needs you should leave
at the door? Watch for
an upcoming class on
just this subject.
(c) Rinatta Paries,
1998-2002. Do you know
how to attract your
ideal mate? Do you know
how to build a
fulfilling relationship,
or how to reinvent yours
to meet your needs?
Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach
you the skills and
techniques to attract
and sustain long-term,
healthy partnerships.
Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com
where you'll find
quizzes, classes, advice
and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love
magnet(tm)!"
|
| About
the Author |
| Having
coined the phrase
"relationship
coach," Master
Certified Coach Rinatta
Paries works with
singles to help them
attract their ideal
relationship, and helps
couples create more love
and fulfillment in their
existing relationships.
Visit her web site at
www.WhatItTakes.com or
e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.
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