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Ten
Steps to Attract Your Ideal
Relationship, Part 1
Everyone
has an idea of their perfect
relationship, their ideal
relationship. And what we all
want from this ideal
relationship is lots of love
and true connection. Below are
the first five of ten steps to
get you to that kind of
relationship.
As
you read over the steps, keep
in mind that everyone who has
created a successful, loving
relationship has taken these
steps. For some people these
steps are intuitive, taken
automatically. For most of us
they need to be deliberately
taken.
- Let
Go of the Past
The first step toward
attracting and creating
your ideal relationship is
to clear the way for it by
dropping the baggage from
your past. Baggage refers
to resentments, hurts, and
fears.
Some
people carry their hurts,
resentments, and fears as
badges of honor, or learn
from them as if they were
undisputable life lessons.
They are neither. They are
byproducts of unfortunate
situations. The sooner you
can truly let go of this
baggage, the less likely
you are to recreate bad
situations.
- Discover
Old Relationship Patterns
Before you can attract and
create your ideal
relationship, you need to
take inventory of how you
behave in relationships.
Why? If your past
relationships have not
worked out, you are at
least fifty percent
responsible. If you don't
clearly see what you did
to end those
relationships, you are
powerless to experience
anything else.
Look
at all aspects of your
relationship behavior,
from what you do when you
first meet someone to what
you do in a long-term
relationship. Also want to
take inventory of what you
believe about
relationships and the
opposite sex.
- Discover
and Celebrate Needs
To have a successful
relationship, you need to
recognize, honor and
fulfill your own needs.
There is a direct
correlation between the
quality of your
relationships and your
ability to recognize and
meet your needs.
What's
more, your needs are THE
criteria for choosing a
partner. Be sure to choose
a partner who will satisfy
your long-term (not your
short-term) needs.
Choosing a partner to meet
short-term needs
guarantees the
relationship will not
last.
Example
of a long-term need: a
life partner who has a
compatible view on life.
Example
of a short-term need:
someone to help you feel
less lonely right now.
- Establish
Strong Boundaries
The fourth step toward
attracting and creating
your ideal relationship is
developing and honoring
your boundaries or limits.
To know and honor your
limits builds your
self-esteem while earning
the respect of others.
Why
do you need to have
boundaries in a loving
relationship? Event the
best of partners will
inevitably do some things
that will not be ok with
you. If you say nothing,
your partner will not know
or pay attention to how
his or her actions
negatively affect you.
That will be the start of
a good relationship gone
bad.
Boundaries
also greatly enhance your
ability to select the
right partner. The wrong
partner will cross your
boundaries fairly early
into the relationship. If
you are aware, the wrong
partner can be quickly
recognized.
- Define
Your Ideal Relationship
Another important step is
to define your ideal
relationship and partner.
This is the one step that
everyone seems to know
about; however, the
popular version of this
exercise will only serve
to keep you out of a
relationship and lonely,
as it will have you create
a fantasy.
To
define your true ideal
relationship and partner,
ask yourself not what you
want but what you need.
What can you not live
without in a relationship?
What do you need to
thrive? What do you need
from a partner day to day?
To
purge fantasy from your
definition, ask yourself
what you want from another
that you are not willing
to do or be yourself.
"(c) Rinatta Paries,
1998-2002. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do
you know how to build a
fulfilling relationship, or
how to reinvent yours to meet
your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you
the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term,
healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where
you'll find quizzes, classes,
advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love
magnet(tm)!"
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