Hormonal
Heaven
by Michael Myerscough |
How
big a priority on a
scale of one to ten is
passion in your
relationship right now?
One of my clients
recently expressed a
concern that she was
missing the lovemaking
with her partner so
much. It was almost as
if she felt guilty about
it, as if her
fascination was somehow
unhealthy.
One of my Swami yoga
teachers taught me years
ago that our bodies are
like chemistry sets. Our
mood is largely
dependent on our
chemical balance at
whatever point in time
and different things
fire off different
chemicals. You’re
probably aware that a
confrontation will fire
off adrenalin in your
body leaving
you feeling uneasy and a
little unsafe setting up
the ‘fight or
flight’ response
mechanism in your body.
Well this got me to
thinking about sex and
how great it
generally feels, and at
this point the Swami and
I part company, as all
Swami’s are
theoretically celibate.
In her fantastic book
“Will You Still Love
Me Tomorrow”, Adrienne
Burgess conducted a ton
of research. She found
that sex fires off a
phenomenal cocktail
(hmm, no pun intended)
of: Dopamine which gives
a sense of well being,
phenylethylamine which
generates a feeling of
excitement, serotonin
for
emotional stability,
norepinephrine for that
‘I am a god’ feeling
and oxytocin for an easy
come down which leaves
you feeling all safe and
cuddly. That list
may look kind of
familiar to some of you;
quite a few of those are
also in good quality
chocolate - that
explains a lot.
This is why love
generally arises out of
sex. Couples who seem to
have sexual problems
just have too many
requirements for sex to
be right. Often they
feel
sex should only arise
out of love and they
won’t have sex when
they’re feeling
exhausted, unhappy or
distant. The fact is
oxytocin is a powerful
hormone that promotes
bonding, which means
that the chances of us
having highly erotic or
romantic sex increase
when we’re prepared to
have, at other times,
less than
perfect sex.
Happier couples have sex
more often than unhappy
couples. So what is the
deal with that chicken
and egg thing?
|
| About
the Author |
| ©
Copyright 2003 by
Michael Myerscough
‘The Great Sex
Coach’. All Rights
Reserved. May be freely
copied and distributed
as long as you include
the following
information: "By
Michael Myerscough,
professional speaker and
relationship success
coach. Michael has lots
of great tips, tools and
articles on his website
that you can use. Visit
him at http://www.thegreatsexcoach.com
and sign up for his free
newsletter.
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