You
don't have to look
like Jennifer Aniston
or Brad Pitt to make
the guys (or girls) go
gaga. All you need is
your fabulous smile
and a few surefire
flirting tips like the
ones you'll find below
to attract the
opposite sex like
paparazzi to a movie
star.
For
women, the key is to
look approachable
enough for men to feel
comfortable in taking
a risk. For men, the
secret is in
showcasing your
masculinity. (And no,
that doesn't mean
adjusting yourself or
proving once and for
all that you are the
Belching King.)
1)
Lock Eyes
Lock eyes with the
person you're flirting
with for a full five
to six seconds, then
smile and drop your
gaze. Don't stare a
hole through the guy's
forehead for goodness
sake, just give him a
smoldering come-hither
look and look away. Do
this at least three
times in a ten to
fifteen-minute period.
Why? Your target needs
to know it's them
you're flirting with,
and eye contact is a
universal signal of
openness.
2)
Smile
Smiling is absolutely
the most effective tool
in your flirting
toolbox.Psychology and
body language experts
agree that one of the
most important things
you can do to make
yourself more attractive
(and approachable) is to
smile. Not a giant
plastic used car
salesman smile, just
your normal "I'm
having a great time and
I'm happy to be
here" face will do
the trick. According to
body language expert
Patti Wood, "the
smile is the
international signal of
friendliness."
Guys, if you lock eyes
and smiles with a woman
three or more times in
an evening, you have
received a clear signal
that she's interested.
Make your move, head on
over and start up a
conversation. If you
don't, somebody else
will.
3) Be a
Vampire's Best Friend
One of the most winning
flirting techniques a
woman can use is the
exposure of her neck.
This can be done with a
head tilt to one side,
the classic hair flip,
or my personal favorite,
the over-the-shoulder
glance - the
asymmetrical position
attracts attention,
exposes your neck, and
gives you the
opportunity to lock
eyes. The
over-the-shoulder move
is extra-effective
because it's sexy and it
sends a signal to your
target that they are
worth a second look.
4) Preen Like A Peacock
We tend to preen or
groom
ourselvessubconsciously
when we're attracted to
someone, by smoothing
down our hair or
clothes, checking our
lipstick in a
compact, or
straightening a tie. Try
combining a grooming
gesture with a
smile and a gaze.
Another trick? Toss your
hair to one side.
This classic move is a
double whammy that
combines preening and a
flash of neck. Need we
say more?
5)
Lip Service
Both men and women are
subconsciously
attracted to red,
moist lips because
they signal youth, sex
and fertility. How to
make the most of it?
For women, try wearing
a red lipstick (red
has been shown to
increase a man's heart
rate), which not only
gives your lips that
youthful color, but
also makes your smile
more visible and your
teeth whiter. A
super-shiny lip gloss
can also give you an
advantage, making your
lips look moist and
kissable. For both men
and women, try licking
your lips (subtlety is
key here, you don't
want to look like
you're trying out for
a porno flick.) or
biting your lower lip
- both are extremely
effective flirting
behaviors.
6)
Cross Your Legs
(Women)
Crossing and
uncrossing your legs
is another surefire
flirting technique,
especially if you're
wearing high heels.
The act of crossing
your legs is quite
seductive to men, and
it makes them desire
to see more. Another
key seduction trick is
slipping your heel out
of your shoe and
dangling it on your
toes. The arch of the
foot sends a sexual
message and mimics a
woman's curves, and
sends a man's heart
racing.
7)
Square Your Shoulders
(Men)
Women are biologically
attracted to more
dominant men, so stand
tall with your
shoulders back. Feel
free to take up some
space. For men who are
victims of the
"nice guy"
badge, or who appear
to be too submissive
to attract women, try
taking your
Ychromosome out for a
spin. According to
spatial psychologist
Albert Mehrabian, men
should "try
wearing bulkier or
more conservative
hairstyles or
clothing," hold
your head up, and
speed up your speech
and gestures to be
more assertive.
8)
Let Your Feet Do The
Talking
According to body
language expert Wood,
you want to make
yourself a
"safe" (read
approachable) target.
Wood says "to be
very approachable
women should stand
with their feet no
farther than 6 inches
apart with toes
pointed slightly
inward." For
men, appearing more
dominant effectively
draws female
attention. To attract
women, stand with your
feet 6-10 inches
apart, and your toes
pointing outward.
9)
Be a Mimic
People mirror each
other's body language
when they are attracted
with similar gestures,
voice volume, etc. Try
subtly mimicking your
flirting target's
behavior. If she leans
forward, you lean
forward. If he scratches
his head, you scratch
your head. If you are
mirroring someone's
behavior, they'll begin
to feel as though the
two of you are connected
and "in tune."
10)
Focus, Focus, Focus.
Once you and your
flirting target have
started talking, use
these tips to deepen the
attraction. First, smile
and maintain eye contact
as they are speaking,
and focus all of your
attention on what they
are saying. There is
rarely anyone more
attractive than someone
who finds you utterly
fascinating. Other key
moves, the nod and the
head tilt - signal
you're listening to what
the other person has to
say. Smiling and
laughing are crucial
here - it's the
quickest, easiest way to
put another person at
ease and make a
connection. Finally,
another effective
flirting technique is
low-level touching such
as brushing the shoulder
or elbow.
How
to tell if a woman is
flirting with you? Look
for the signs above,
especially extended eye
contact, low-level
touching and laughing.
How
to tell if a guy is
flirting with you?
Again, the signs above
are fantastic
indicators, but men tend
to take things a little
further by demonstrating
their social status with
moves that can include,
flashing cash and
talking about their
occupations and (you
guessed it) cars.
************************************
Lisa Daily, Dream Girl
and author of Stop
Getting Dumped! All you
need to know to make men
fall madly in love with
you and marry 'The One'
in 3 years or less.
"This chick really
knows what she's talking
about!" --Howard
Stern As seen in/on
Cosmopolitan, The Other
Half and Howard Stern
Available at
and bookstores
everywhere.
