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Find
Faults Before It's Too Late
by Nancy Fagan, M.S., ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Many men and women find
themselves falling into
patterns of getting involved
with the "wrong"
kind of partner. This may
prove to be frustrating,
resulting in a helpless
feeling. The question
"Why?" is often
asked. "Why do I keep
getting involved with the same
kind of men/women?" Well,
let me tell you. It is because
you aren't looking for early
warning signs that signal you
to get away. It might also
mean that you are unaware of
the warning signs but
rationalize their potential
ramifications. Be that as it
may, you are attracted to that
"bad" trait or
traits in men/women.
Consequently, those
characteristics lead to
unhealthy relationships.
The
only way to avoid repeating
harmful patterns is to be able
to recognize the adverse signs
early on. The earlier you see
the signs, the easier it is to
avoid getting hurt
emotionally. Change is not
comfortable. If you want to
have a healthy relationship,
you will have to learn to be
attracted to a different type
of person. To do this, you
need to make slight changes.
The easiest is to redirect
your first conversations with
people you find attractive.
These conversations should
take on a purpose of screening
for unwanted traits.
When
a woman, for instance, gets
caught up in conversation with
an attractive man, it's easy
to get lost in his voice,
eyes, touch, and so on. Before
you know it, the conversation
meanders without a focus and
you have no idea if he shares
similar bad traits as your ex.
But, you don't have to let
this happen.
You
can set your goal to unveil
the man's "crucial
topics" (issues that
broke your previous
relationship(s)). For
instance, if your ex was an
alcoholic, keep an eye out for
how much he drinks and how
important alcohol is in his
life. The key is to be casual
and not make it sound like
you're interrogating him. Keep
in mind that he will have no
idea what you are thinking,
only that you are having light
conversation.
I'm
sure you have the idea: make a
point of finding the signs of
the relationships that have
impacted your past
relationships negatively.
Regardless of how attracted
you are to a man, don't
rationalize the red flags
waving in front of your eyes.
Making excuses for these will
lend itself to the same
results you had with the last
man-a bad relationship.
Nancy
Fagan, M.S., author of “The
Complete Idiot’s Guide to
Romance” and “Desirable Men: How to Find
Them.” To read more, visit http://www.expertdatingadvice.com/.
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