Am
I Weird If I Date
Online?
by Devlyn Steele |
True story: A few years
back I was working with
a client who had
recently moved to Los
Angeles. She was single,
did not know many people
in the big city, and
felt a little lonely. I
innocently suggested she
give online dating a
shot. It seemed like an
easy and pressure-free
way to meet people, and
I had other clients who
enjoyed their experience
and were in good
relationships as a
result.
"What kind of
desperate person do you
think I am?!?" she
snapped.
She apologized, but
explained that she felt
“weird” about online
dating. This perked my
curiosity, so later I
asked some of my other
clients if they ever
tried it. Some only
confessed after their
faces turned three
shades of crimson. Since
I am a strong proponent
of online dating, I
dispel any stigma or
embarrassment when I
recommend it to my
clients. This is what I
tell them:
For many singles, life
moves like Richard Petty
around the Talladega
Speedway. We change jobs
every few years. We
relocate more
frequently. We cannot
remember the last time
we answered a phone with
a cord. Even if time is
not the issue, some
single people cannot
shake the feeling that
everyone else is happy
while they are always
alone. We may look at
online dating as an act
of desperation, because
“normal people don’t
need something like
that.”
The simple fact is that
you are not weird if you
use an online dating
service. We only feel
weird when we think we
are doing something
outside the norm.
Consider this: over 40
million people in the US
access online dating
websites every month. It
is the fastest growing
sector of online
content. There is no
reason to feel
embarrassed, because if
you date online you are
actually part of a huge
group.
There is nothing wrong
with wanting to find
someone special, or at
the very least make some
new friends, so why not
use every resource
available to you? You do
not get extra points for
meeting someone in a bar
or while waiting for dry
socks at the Laundromat.
Does it matter to you
how you met the
important people already
in your life? You
probably barely even
think about it.
By setting up a personal
profile and a list of
likes and dislikes, you
invest time in yourself.
More importantly, you
are taking action by
trying to improve
yourself and your
situation. You are
putting yourself out
there and taking control
by refusing to be lonely
and isolated.
I have found many
advantages to the
Internet. The anonymity
of online dating allows
you to roll out of bed,
hair standing in ten
different directions,
breath smelling like
Boston Harbor at low
tide – then click! You
stumble on a person you
will be dating in a few
weeks. The cost compared
to going out and
searching is next to
nothing. You can learn
more about a person’s
interests to see if they
mesh with yours. You do
not have to deal with
the harshness of
rejection in person. You
have a huge pool of
people to explore
(remember, 40 million!)
from all walks-of-life,
people you would never
have the chance to meet
within your neighborhood
or small circle of
friends.
There is also fraud and
deception. You will
probably come across a
photo that looks eerily
like Pamela Anderson –
right down to the
copyright in the lower
corner. Clients tell me
about married people
posing as single.
Nevertheless, these
issues of honesty exist
both on and off-line, so
do not let that stop you
from finding the partner
you want.
With 43% of the U.S.
population being single
and with so many single
clients asking me about
Internet dating, I began
to put a guide together
to help my clients use
this service effectively
and safely and avoid
these pitfalls. I want
everyone to find the
happiness they deserve
and want to make this
Tool book available to
everyone for Free! To
get your free E-Book,
“Tools To Internet
Dating” go to
TheRelationshipTools.com
and get your copy today.
Don’t be ashamed or
afraid, learn the best
and safest way to use
the Internet to take
control of your life and
find the person you
deserve!
|
| About
the Author |
| Devlyn
Steele ("America's
Leading
Life-Coach") has
been a public consultant
and a private counselor
for over 15 years. A
Cognitive Therapist,
Radio host and
Columnist, Devlyn also
developed
ToolsToLife.com. Devlyn
maintains a thriving
practice in Hollywood,
where he counsels famous
actors, musicians and
captains of industry.
Soon his new book will
be available,
Relationship Tools. You
can hear Coach Steele
live every Tuesday on
LoveBeat Radio 1310
KXAM.com 7-9 PM. Arizona
Time.
dating
services | online
dating
| adult
personals
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