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Worst
Dating Mistakes, Part 2
Here's
a brief summary of my previous
article:
- Hiding
who you are to fit into a
relationship
- Confusing
the trappings of love for
real love
- Blaming
relationship mishaps on
the other person
- Not
allowing time to heal
between relationships
- Attraction
means you are meant to be
together
Today
I'll round out the list of
worst dating mistakes singles
make. There are some mistakes
that may seem obvious when you
look back, but can be
completely invisible when you
are in the thick of things.
6.
Giving too much personal
information too soon
Honesty is always the best
policy. But too much honest,
personal information on the
first few dates is a great way
to spoil a possible
connection. Sharing too much
information too quickly is
likely to leave both of you
feeling awkward, with one or
both of you wanting to leave
the situation.
Once
you are in a healthy loving
relationship, you will realize
that a relationship needs time
to develop before it can
handle the deeply personal
information. The longer the
relationship has been around,
the stronger it will be and
the more it can handle without
breaking.
Having
said this, do not withhold
information that would help
the other person decide
whether you are a good match
or not.
7.
Seeing people as you want them
to be instead of who they
really are
Have you ever started to date
someone and thought he or she
was perfect...if only he made
more money, or got her life
together, or got rid of an
addiction/parents/old
relationship/etc? Do you try
to change others into your
perfect image of them? If you
do, you know this does not end
well.
Once
you are in a healthy loving
relationship, you will realize
the people who want to grow
and change will be the first
to tell you how they are
working on growing and
changing. They don't need you
to be the agent of change. If
you try to move someone in a
direction they are not
interested in going, it will
take all of your energy. Even
then, you will likely fail
because it is your direction,
not theirs. It's better to
choose people who you can love
without changing them.
8.
Believing a relationship is
all you need to be happy and
to have a complete life
Thousands of singles are
searching for THE
relationship, feeling as if it
is their one key to a happy,
fulfilled life. Meanwhile,
they are robbing themselves of
that happy, fulfilled life as
it slips away day by day.
Once
you are in a healthy loving
relationship, you will realize
that although love is
extremely important, it is not
the one thing that will
fulfill you, complete you, or
satisfy you. The minute you
really do create a truly
fulfilling life, you will
attract love.
9.
Making people wrong for who
they were from the start
Let's say you start dating
someone and money is not
important to him or her, so
much so that there is not much
of it coming in. Later in the
relationship you get angry
because this same person does
not have money. Or you get
into a relationship with a
person who tells you upfront
that he or she is not
interested in a committed
relationship, but only wants
to date. Later you feel
frustrated and angry because
you don't have a committed
relationship. The list of
examples goes on.
Once
you are in a healthy loving
relationship, you will realize
people tell you who they are,
what they want, what they will
and will not do, and how your
relationship will turn out
right from the start. They
might not tell you this
information verbally, but you
will see it in their actions
or behaviors. You would do
well to listen and believe
them.
10.
Going too fast into a
relationship
I frequently mention this
dating mistake because it is
prevalent in our culture and
encouraged by the way the
media portrays love. Simply
stated, you cannot build a
relationship in 24 hours, a
week, or even a month. Even if
you believe the two of you are
meant to be together, you
should build your relationship
slowly, instead of rushing
into it.
Once
you are in a healthy loving
relationship, you will realize
you simply cannot rush the
process of relationship
building. And if you do rush
in, you and your partner will
suffer the consequences.
"(c) Rinatta Paries,
1998-2002. Do you know how to
attract your ideal mate? Do
you know how to build a
fulfilling relationship, or
how to reinvent yours to meet
your needs? Relationship Coach
Rinatta Paries can teach you
the skills and techniques to
attract and sustain long-term,
healthy partnerships. Visit
www.WhatItTakes.com where
you'll find quizzes, classes,
advice and a free weekly ezine.
Become a "true love
magnet(tm)!"
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