Don't make these
mistakes when searching
for love online!
"I spent my life
searching for the
perfect woman. I finally
found
her but alas, she was
searching for the
perfect man."
Anonymous.
I was a professional
matchmaker for several
years - trying to help
singles meet others with
whom they shared common
interests and
complementary
personality traits. I
met with my clients in
person and they were
screened to ascertain
their real names,
addresses, education,
marital status. Most
importantly, I tried to
help them determine the
type of person they were
really seeking and
that's where most of the
problems arose.
Even though my clients
verbalized that they
were happy to be matched
based upon
compatibility, this was
not true! The major
problems I encountered
were:
1) A number of clients
were seeking others
mainly based on
appearance.
I would show each new
client photos of
existing clients based
on their characteristics
as well as their
appearance. Unattractive
people sometimes became
offended when I matched
them with their physical
counterparts. A dowdy
sixtyish woman asked me,
"Is that what you
think of me?" when
I attempted to match her
with men in her age and
looks category. Many
clients seemed to be
totally unaware of how
they looked to others
and wanted matches that
were highly
inappropriate. With
these people,
compatibility had no
bearing on their
matches. They wanted the
best looking people in
my book!
2) Some clients refused
to compromise - even
when matched with
someone they liked!
I matched two extremely
overweight people who
liked each other
immediately and went out
on several dates. Before
their last meeting for a
Sunday movie date, the
woman asked to meet at
7:00 pm instead of the
5:30 show. The man
became annoyed, broke
the date, and
immediately ended their
budding relationship.
He, who was a part-time
telemarketer, told me he
needed time on Sunday
evenings "to get
ready for his work on
Monday." Because
she needed to reschedule
their date, he was
totally turned off to
her regardless of his
prior interest and their
compatibility.
3) Others had a Wish
List for their Perfect
Person and expected me
to find the person on
that list for them.
One divorced man in his
late 30's expressed a
desire for a woman who
had a specific type of
nose. (Really!) A
never-married woman in
her early 30's with pale
blonde hair and very
light skin wanted a man
with very, very dark
skin (but not an
African-American), who
earned at minimum
$75,000 per year, was
not in Sales, had never
been married and had no
children. I had twelve
men who matched her
description in my data
base but she found
something wrong with
each one and refused to
go out with any of them.
She then complained
about my service and was
upset because she 'had
not had even one date'.
AARRGGHH!!! An Indian
medical student saw her
photo and was instantly
smitten. They had many
things in common and
each was what the other
was seeking. He was very
excited about meeting
her; however, before
they met, he wanted a
guarantee of a
successful relationship
which I of course could
not give him. They never
met and as far as I
know, both are still
single and
searching.....
My advice: Don't shoot
yourself in the foot! If
you are meeting a lot of
people and just can't
seem to connect, ask
yourself if you really
want a relationship. Are
you ready and willing to
be close with another
person? If you
constantly find fault
with others, ask
yourself these questions
and be a bit more
tolerant. Don't expect
to find your perfect
person because he or she
does not exist. Be happy
if you find Ms. or Mr.
Almost-Perfect. Good
luck!
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