Compassion,
Part 2
by Rinatta Paries |
Having
compassion toward others
is a gift of
connectedness you give
yourself and a gift of
presence you give
others. While difficult
to define, compassion is
a way of being, and you
will see the definition
emerge among the three
concepts presented here.
1. Compassion involves
seeing others as
"self."
No matter how different
others are, or how
different their
circumstances are from
yours, we all want
essentially the same
things from life. We
want happiness,
satisfaction and love.
We want connectedness,
safety and
understanding.
When you are struggling
to feel compassion for
others, struggling to
put yourself in their
shoes, struggling to
understand what they are
going through, remember
this similarity.
Remember that everyone
ultimately wants what
you want.
2. Compassion does not
involve self-sacrifice
or martyrdom at your
expense.
When in a disagreement
with someone -- whether
your partner, a friend
or your boss -- remember
to see the other as
"self." At the
same time, be careful
not to mistake
compassion for being a
pushover. Don't justify
another's behavior at
the cost of your
feelings or discount
your feelings.
Being compassionate in
the context of
disagreement means being
understanding,
supportive and kind,
while respecting and
setting your boundaries.
You must be present to
both simultaneously in
order to both take care
of yourself and others.
3. Compassion gives you
a sense of
connectedness.
Having compassion means
opening your heart to
others. It also means
residing in your heart
when interacting with
others. This can be
especially challenging
when compassion is most
needed. But it is well
worth the effort.
When you show others
compassion, they get to
experience being heard
and cared for when most
needed. This allows you
to connect with others
in a meaningful way and
feel more alive and
loved.
|
| About
the Author |
Having
coined the phrase
"relationship
coach," Master
Certified Coach Rinatta
Paries works with
singles to help them
attract their ideal
relationship, and helps
couples create more love
and fulfillment in their
existing relationships.
Visit her web site at www.WhatItTakes.com
or e-mail her at coach@WhatItTakes.com.
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services |
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dating
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personals
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