Building
the Bond in your
Relationship
by Alina Ruigrok |
A bond (relationship
wise) is when two people
have a connection. Being
attracted to each other
and sharing common
values and interests
brought the two of you
together as a couple,
but the bond has not
been set completely.
Besides the fact that
you have love and care
between you, you also
need to see whether or
not the two of you are
friends. Is it possible
to be friends?
Absolutely! As a matter
of fact, it is a must if
the two of you are going
to build a lasting bond.
Having a strong longing
and passion for another
is important, but is not
enough fuel to keep the
bond running. With
friendship, your
relationship will remain
having that strength
under all kinds of
circumstances. There
will be times, for
example, when you as a
couple are not living in
your most passionate
times. This is natural
and does not mean there
is no longer love or
desire. As your
relationship deepens,
you will go through many
experiences and stages
that may put your
romance and frequent hot
sex aside for a while.
This is where friendship
comes in and why it is
so important. You should
be there for each other
and understand your
partner’s situations
and concerns. Just take
a look at your friends.
See what makes your
friendship with them so
great. You then need to
see if your partner has
those same similarities
or exact (sticking up
for you when you need
the back up for
instance) qualities.
Another point to keep in
mind is keeping yourself
aware of what behavior
you would not except
from a friend. You
should definitely not
accept those behaviors
from your mate (like
standing you up all the
time) either.
It is not easy to put
our friends and lovers
in the same comparison
because we are in love
with our partners, and
therefore will be more
patient with them than
we would with our
friends. You can easily
blind yourself due to
the love you feel for
that person and not even
realize when he or she
is not being a good
friend and partner to
you. How can you tell? A
true friendship is
basically the same as
the true qualities that
define real love. The
difference is, we are in
love and have a deep
desire for our mates,
with commitment and a
goal of building a
future, and perhaps even
getting married and
making a family
together. The list below
will help you see if
your lover is a friend
to you as well.
1.You can talk to and
confide in each other
about anything.
2.Your partner is there
for you when you need to
talk to someone.
3.Being able to always
rely on each other when
one is counted on.
4.Having a permanent
shoulder to cry on when
we need it
5.Having many things in
common
6.Accepting one another
for who we are
7.Listening to us and
considering our opinions
important
Do not feel guilty for
having higher
expectations from your
lover either. People
often feel like they
should be more lenient
and understanding when
it comes to their
lovers. Even though it
is important to keep an
understanding attitude
(to avoid
misunderstandings and
arguments), you should
never let things always
slide or make up excuses
for your partner’s
wrong doings. You should
expect better and not
except such behavior.
You deserve better.
After all, you invest
most of your emotions
and time into your
partner, so always
remember that you are
entitled to receive the
same.
As important as having
that great friendship
is, it is also good to
remember not to let the
friendship get out hand.
Is it possible to let a
friendship get carried
away? Yes, in a
relationship it is. It
is wonderful when you
can be best friends with
your partner, but
sometimes the friendship
is doing so well that it
receives all the focus,
while in the meantime
the romance (being in
love) has been
neglected. If you are
not careful, in time,
you will start looking
at each other as close
buddies and no longer be
that passionate couple
you started as. There
are points that can
guide you into detecting
when your romance and
desire is entering the
danger zone before it is
too late and would be
suggestible to seek
professional advice on
how to get things back
on track.
Remembering not to
forget our desires for
our partner will keep
the romance in the
picture. If the
relationship still fails
to rekindle those
feelings and you or your
partner cannot leave
that buddy mode, looking
around with curiosity
for others, then your
relationship will need
some extra help (you can
get advice on how to
save your relationship).
What if it is difficult
to have a friendship?
This can be another
issue, but there are
ways to help you find
solutions. Some couples
may share the most
wonderful romance and
sex ever, but not really
have an actual
friendship. In most
cases, it would not be
advisable to stay in
such a relationship, but
there are ways you can
try and still have some
hope.
As long as you and your
partner remember to keep
the romance, love and
friendship balanced,
your relationship will
continue to live in
great health, living as
long as the both of you
wish it to! The decision
is yours, so be good
enough to yourself and
your mate to make the
right one. Relationships
can seem confusing and
hopeless at times, and
they can get that way if
you do not keep close
watch. Stop yourself
periodically to check
the status of your
relationship to makes
sure the bond is
building, as it should
be. Keep in mind that
with the right attention
and teamwork, the two of
you can build the
greatest bond. Most
importantly, remember
that key word you just
learned…BALANCE.
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| About
the Author |
| Alina
Ruigrok is an
independent relationship
expert for www.love-sessions.com
helping those in need of
dating, love,
relationship, marital,
sexual and other
personal advice through
e-sessions.
dating
services | online
dating | adult
personals
|
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