Getting
an exciting life after a
break up
by Caroline Therancy |
Breaking up.
The End. The journey is
over. You feel rejected.
Hopeless. You don’t
want to go back in the
jungle again. You may
even have that dread
feeling of failure.
Suddenly, all the love
songs at the radio
seemed to have been
written for you. You
want to stay in bed.
Shut all the doors and
the windows. Bring the
kids to your relatives
for a while. You don’t
feel like talking to
anybody now. You swear
to yourself that you
will never get involved
with someone again, half
believing it.
Life is much more
exciting than that.
Besides, you are not the
last and only person
experiencing a
separation. And, it
might not be your last
breakup either. With the
proper mental tools,
break ups could be less
painful.
Breaking up, I prefer to
call it an opportunity
for a change of habits.
It’s like having an
addiction and you need
to cut yourself from it.
It’s painful but
necessary. The good news
about it is that it
doesn’t need to be
Hell on Earth. There are
effective ways to go
through this process
with smooth sailing.
First, you absolutely
need to stop thinking of
the great moments that
you had together.
Chances are that those
moments happened a long
time ago, not to
mention, not that often
either. Keep in mind the
reasons of your break
up, until your mind is
in sync with your heart.
And don’t keep in
touch with that person
for now, if you can. Or
reduce the frequency of
contacts at its bare
minimum.
Write a letter
You need to let the
emotions out. Write
everything that
frustrates you, made you
angry, sad, etc… You
don’t necessarily need
to send it to your
previous partner but at
least, this is a proven
healing process for you
to calm the storm
inside. You can choose
to keep it somewhere to
read for yourself later,
when the healing process
will be over. You might
discover some strength
that you are not aware
about you.
Make new friends.
You need to socialize
more the ever. How do
you do that? Go to
fairs, reading clubs,
sports clubs, art clubs,
etc… ask questions,
make conversations, and
exchange phone numbers
with people to do
activities and keep in
touch. Offer to help
with something. Friends
come fast like that.
Don’t jump into
another relationship to
avoid facing your
feelings of emptiness.
Chances are that there
will be other
disappointments. You
need to finish the
process of unblocking
all of your emotions to
freely open your heart
again to someone else,
and increase the chances
of success.
Pamper yourself.
Treat yourself.
Take naps in the Sun.
Get a pedicure. A great
massage. Read the bible.
Read inspiring texts
that will give you
strength ( Like the book
“Chicken soup for
Soul”).
Go jogging. Do someYoga.
Listen to Jazz music.
Eat well. Go pick apples
with the kids. You know
what I mean; do all the
activities that help put
your soul to calm.
Stay away from
unsupportive people
Neutralized your mind
and heart from some
comments of your family
and friends. I am sure
that they really want
your good. But they
maybe are a little bit
…. “clumsy” in the
way they express their
caring for you “ When
are you going the get
married? You can’t go
from people to people
like that! You are
getting old, you
know?” or “ There
are other people you
know; 1 lost, 10
found!” (I hate that
one). Hang out with
people who are taking
your mind off things,
who understands and
gives you the support
that you need. I
remember reading this
about hardships that “
It is not only time that
heals the heart, but
also all the warmth and
love around us.”
Get a Pet
When I broke up with my
last boyfriend, I got a
cat. He was so tiny and
requested so much of my
attention that it
fulfilled my need to
feel wanted. A pet
doesn’t replace the
love and attention that
a boyfriend or
girlfriend can give,
but, it’s all part of
the process of having a
full life. So get a dog,
a cat, a turtle,
whatever provides that
added value in your
life.
Find at least 3
Passions
You will need to get all
the strength that you
can possibly have to
open your heart to fun.
Fill your life to the
fullest with different
passions. Take cooking
lessons, take a gold
lesson, try other
sports, and try
painting, other arts,
and hobbies of some
kind. Learning a new
thing will keep your
mind busy, you will have
a new skill and will
feel good about yourself
and, you will be more
interesting for a future
mate.
One of my friends was
single for at least 2
years. She decided to
join a badminton club.
The first semester,
nobody was really
interesting for her. In
the second semester,
there was still no new
blood coming. But she
still subscribed because
she enjoyed the activity
so much. The third
semester, this dark
handsome policeman join
the league and it
didn’t take long
before they hooked up.
And today, they share,
among other things, this
passion. It’s an
opportunity to have fun
together and to be
together.
Date Again.
Yes! You read right!
Date again! Jump right
back on the Horse again!
You need to rebuild your
self-esteem and being in
situations where people
from the opposite sex
find you interesting
will prevent that you go
down into that whole.
You don’t need to get
deeply emotionally
involved. Date to have
fun. Keep the
relationships light and
simple. Where do you
find those people? Go on
dating sites,
classifieds, friends,
and acquaintances. Since
you are not out to find
a husband and wife yet,
you won’t be
threatening.
Get to the stage of
feeling great being
single
Take the time to Truly
feel fulfilled in a
single life. This is a
powerful way to find
true love because if you
are having a great life
alone, you will be
willing give up your
exciting single
lifestyle for the person
that is really worth it.
Be and Feel
Successful
And if you are out for
revenge the greatest
revenge of all is
Success. Take this
opportunity to develop
your personality even
more. Your children, if
you have, will be proud
of you and people around
you will admire your
strength and more
opportunities will
occur.
If you were to consider
coming back with your
partner, start
considering it not
before 6 months to a
year after the break up.
This has given time to
you and your partner to
reflect on your mutual
faults and strengths,
and to heal.
Experiencing loss is a
difficult moment of our
life to pass. But you
can take this
opportunity to prove to
yourself, once again,
how much of a winner you
are; take this
opportunity to transform
yourself even more. If
you transform your life
while you are not in a
relationship, with a
partner, you will
collect the fruits of
these initiatives.
The most important
thing: laugh, laugh, and
laugh. Laugh at every
opportunity that life
gives you. Feel good and
be happy.
Wishing you great
success in finding
happiness again.
|
| About
the Author |
Who
is Caroline? She is a
growing expert on love,
relationship, romance
because she is reading a
lot on the subject. She
is presently in a
fulfilling relationship
and she is gladly
sharing her knowledge
and experience. To
continue receiving tips
on how to get the love
life that you want, you
can subscribe free to
her newsletter at
http://www.everydaybetterliving.com
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